to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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