Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
