Don't you send me to vm
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Just pee around me
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
