Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm both gender and math confused
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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