Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
