the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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