So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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