I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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