...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
