i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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