I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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