Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
