Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
