mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
