i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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