BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
