At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
