No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
