Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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