Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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