we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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