I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
