its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
