Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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