After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
