I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
