I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
wanna go halves on a baby?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
