I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
