Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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