just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
