i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
