She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
