im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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