I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
