I'm gonna have a badass scar
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
