So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
