I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
