Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
