You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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