I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
