Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
