can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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