I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
