Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
