You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
