If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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