I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
