Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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