Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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