Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
