i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
