We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
