I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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